There I was, quite happy with all my mates, enjoying life in the perfect place. If we got cold we were lifted up to the warmth, if we got to hot we were dropped down o let the air flow round us. What more could a guy ask for.

Then one fateful day we were sucked from our home and fired at great speed into an alien world. It was dark, smelled strange and worse still made our skin sting. Where were we. I yelled "Swim for your lives lads, we got to getout of here fast". I swam as fast as I could and bumped into something soft. I had been swimming so fast, my head buried itself into it. I tried to break free, but was drawn into it. Once inside, the stinging of my skin stopped and it felt safe. I called out to my mates to join me, but watched helplessly as 0ne by one the perished in the hostile enviroment.

Where was I? was I alone? was I the last one of my kind left? Then I heard it, a soft sqeaky voice "Hi lover boy, welcome to my world now you can join me as a girl" Well I wasn't having that, me the macho guy, strong and powerful and possibly the only one of my kind to survive.

Too late, she reached out and grabbed me, everywhere we touched we became fused to each other, then very strange things started to happen. I split into two and cloned myself and so did she, soon we were hundreds, then thousands, then hundreds of thousands, all the time changing shape and growing fast. At first I was very confused, then realised I was becoming girly, I resisted as hard as I could and started to feel masculine again, then she slipped something in my food and again I could feel myself getting girly, again I resisted. These battles seemed to go on forever, but were only about nine months.

By now our little world was feeling very cramped, we had grown and changed so much. It was time to escape, but how? A higher power must have read my thoughts. I felt both of us being pushed harder and harder into a small opening. Oh my did it hurt, having our head sqeezed like that. It took a while, but soon we were in a strange new world, full of light and strange noises  Then I heard a voice say "Congratulations it's a boy" Yay I'd won macho guy came good at the end, or so I thought. Then She,It, the Defeated one started " You may have the body, but I have the brain" I wasn't listeniing, I've won, I've won, I 'm a boy.

As I grew up, she carried on taunting me. Other boys played with cars and guns, I wanted to play with dolls and tea sets. I tried everything to supress her, took up boxing, played rugby,joined the army, anything to still her constant taunts.

Then I met a girl who changed my life forever. We kissed, held hands, but she always stopped me from going any further. Finally I had to confront her about it, I loved her and wanted more. I pushed her for an answer. Then in a flood of tears, she told me she was a girl, but in a mans body. At first I was shocked, she was so beautiful and feminine, then my brain started and the tears rolled down my cheeks and I realised all the wasted years, macho man had never won. I had been fighting who I was just trying to conform to the body I was born with.. My girlfriend is amazing, told me about the gender clinic, taking hormones and the final surgery. I'm not having the surgery, but she is. I'm just happy to accept my femininity and stop the conflict in my head.

 How many others have the same conflict? We are all both masculine and feminine to a greater or lesser degree. How masculine or feminine we are has nothing to do with body parts, but the D.N.A. mix at conception and the hormone balance we get as we develope and grow. Don't fight who you are learn to love and embrace it.